Crudele (The Better, Longer Rewrite in Progress!)
by Sheba H
Summary: (Started writing on Sept 19, 2018) Bella, forcibly taken in by the Volturi now copes with the death of her father, loss of the Cullens, and her struggling to find herself through her painful addiction. Will it ever feel like home? Follow Bella's recovery and romance in this poetic piece, that pulls elements from a dark side of life.(Angst depression crap, TW: drugs, suicide, death)
1. Hydros

**Hello! And welcome to the _technically third_ rewrite of Crudele! I originally began writing this story in 2012 when I was either eleven or twelve years old, and since the deletion of Crudele, I have received numerous messages and emails both asking for the rewrite of Crudele to be updated and have had people ask me for the original copy.**

 **If you were a reader of my Caius' Daughter series, I regretfully inform you that I also do not have a copy of that series to my knowledge.**

 **( _I have fifteen people on the list to send the original to if I can find it, and I will be checking all my drives and computers, but to my knowledge the original copy of Crudele no longer exists unless some AMAZING reader has downloaded or copied it somewhere. If on the rare chance someone has, please message me. I believe I left off at about 31 chapters.)_**

* * *

 ** _Bella's Point Of View;_**

 _It will be as if I never existed._

He had never been so wrong. The nightmares still plague me in my sleep. I miss them with every aching part of my being.

I wish he had been right. I wish I couldn't remember how his favourite composer was Debussy, how he hummed along with the music just under his breath so you could barely hear him. I wish I couldn't remember his eyes, topaz swirling around a golden crown, the black of his iris seeming so much deeper in contrast. I wish I couldn't remember the way he looked as the snow fell on the soft breeze around him, hair in the wind as he smiled.

Winter was his favourite season.

I wish I couldn't remember his family;

Alice happily flitting around the house, keeping her plagued mind at bay with shopping. How her spiky hair bounced as she ever cheerfully put together flower arrangements for Esme, deep set gold eyes swimming in her ideas. Decorating for Christmas; I had never expected to love a purple Christmas tree, but it was beautiful in the way that an oddity was beautiful.

Jasper, rereading the same novel as if he had missed something, perfect mind and all. Alice would walk into the room, and you could feel him emit the happiness she brought into the room with her, both faces lighting up as she'd place a Santa hat atop his head.

Esme baking cookies in the kitchen, throwing a handful of flour at Carlisle, their laughs echoing the feeling we all felt that Christmas.

I miss those days; life was so much simpler and happier for me. I miss the brother and sister I'd lost, the three of us gathered around a chess table taking turns playing as we talked, sharing stories from both their lives and mine.

I miss them.

I miss Edward.

* * *

Somewhere along the way after they left, I had picked up a hydros _habit,_ as I preferred to call it. It's far better than the alternative term, I thought. Bottles stashed in my closet; some leftover from my recovery after the brush with James, some I had stolen from Carlisle's study after they'd left.

I'd reasoned with myself that it wasn't like they could possibly use them, and they definitely wouldn't be back in Forks before my lifetime was up. Edward had made it very clear they wouldn't be; they wanted me to have a normal life. But there was no normalcy in it anymore.

Taking my first three of the day to stave off the sickness a little longer, I sat back against the wood of my closet walls. I knew both of my parents would be disappointed, but with such an easy way to continue reupping, and with the vast amount of medical supplies Carlisle had just collecting dust at this point, I don't think they'd find out for a long, long time.

The first time I drove back to the house, I'd known it would hurt.

But as sobs wracked through me, slamming my hands against the steering wheel to feel _something_ other than what could only have been my half emptied soul, I wondered how one person could experience this pain and still go on breathing.

As I feel the first whispers of the opioid take its' effect, and my shakes lessen altogether, my father calls up the stairs,

"Bells?" It's the same worry as every morning for him, hoping I'm still here.

"I'm here, Dad!" I respond loudly, picking myself up off the floor.

Turning the corner into my room, hands shaking from the anxiety of coming up around him, I slip the fourth pill into my pocket and turn the closet lights off.

I see Charlie in the doorway holding a plate of bacon and eggs; the delicious, homey scent following him in. I feel guilty, as ever since Edward left along with my motivation, my father had learned how to cook through trial and error of his own. For the first few months, there was a lot of burnt food, and a lot of giving up and ordering takeout.

I take the plate feigning gratefulness, and he leaves for work for the day.

Already losing my appetite from the pills, and wanting to redose later to keep my buzz going through the day without issue, my resolve is that I'm probably not eating today.

* * *

It's August. We finally have a brief reprieve from the onslaught of the almost constant rain through the summer, and I have taken to the woods on a rather dark journey.

There's a river that runs somewhere near me, and I only vaguely remember where I'm trying to go from my time spent with Edward.

Our cliff.

But soon after, I receive a call from Jake, and it's time to turn back around already.

Taking one last longing look at the cliff, just barely in sight, I begin to head home.


	2. Time Passes

_I found my New Moon copy and I'm ready to go ;D_

 **READ THE FIRST CHAPTER BEFORE READING THIS ONE.**

 **THERE IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR THIS STORY THAT YOU WILL MISS, AS I HAVE REWRITTEN THAT CHAPTER BEFORE WRITING THIS ONE.**

* * *

 _"Don't worry, you're human - your memory is no more than a sieve."_

* * *

 _Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches an dragging lulls._

 _Time passes when you no longer want for it to pass at all, longing for the clock to stop, the stage lights to dim, the curtains to close. It passes when you want the play to be over, the costumes to be put away, the seats to be emptied._

 _Time passes, and drags, like the waves of the ocean crashing down upon me, each one getting stronger than the last, just barely above the surface but unable to catch a breath for relief. It passes when the emotions you are feeling are so far past anguished that you wish there was another word in the English language so you could convey it to someone._

 _Time passes even when there's nothing left of your soul to keep putting into your time being alive._

 _Oh, pass it does._

 _Even for me._

Life with Charlie was simple, but I found comfort in the simplicity.

Since graduating high school, I had found myself growing stagnant. With not much left to do, I had dove headfirst into the books on my bookshelf, finishing each book within months. I had filled every notebook I could find with poetry, and neatly written down memories and stories from when I still had the Cullens here, so that I would hopefully never forget them.

I had become a dreamer of sorts, immersing myself in whatever art form I could find next to actually be productive while high. In the back of my closet, I hid the barely finished paintings I had attempted of the Cullens on numerous occasions, features skewed slightly and none of them were quite right because of my faulty, human mind.

I had draped a white sheet over them long ago, deciding not to even look at them for as long as I live in this house. They were all wrong, and would forever be all wrong, so they were no good to me.

I had searched endlessly for the photos I had of them, hoping to find them and fix the paintings once and for all, but they were ripped out of my book, along with all proof that they had even existed. With only my memories, I would sometimes feel insane, trying to remember their faces but knowing it would never be exactly right. I could no longer remember the exactly way his hair looked in the sun, but I often hopelessly try.

Life had lost its luster for me, and I had begun to face my own mortality with every passing day. I had longed for their life, but without Edward I had come to accept my own death, and had often wanted to take it into my own hands for good measure.

 _You wanted me to be human_ , I thought, _watch me._

"Bells! Are you up to a task?"

I look up from the painting of a deer I had just barely begun, "depends?"

"I need you to go out shopping tonight, I have a long shift and won't be home until five," he paused, handing me a list scrawled on "we don't need that much."

Shopping would give me time to be with my thoughts, which wasn't favorable, but it gave me something to do, "will do."

Charlie smiles, before shrugging on his jacket and grabbing his keys, "thank you!"

* * *

I peer out the store window after checking out.

Rain.

I had grown to love the rain in Forks. I felt comfort having surroundings that seemed as dreary as I felt.

Someone collides with me, almost knocking me over before a feel a grip on my arm steady me.

"I'm so sorry!" Her voice chimes. I take a glance at her. Before me stands a petite blonde girl, just a few inches shorter than me, with bright blue eyes. But what sticks out to me is her ghostly skin, pale even for someone living in rainy Washington.

"Are you okay? My name is Jane, I'm so sorry about that!" She says in her angelic voice. She reaches her hand out, and I take it to shake it, to be met with cold, smooth skin.

"Bella," I say, shakily, clutching at my bags. My blood pounds in my ears, eyes wide.

"I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of each other," she says ever gleefully, before turning to go, "I have a lot of.. shopping to do. Bye now!"

She leaves me standing there, like a deer in headlights, and I all but sprint to my truck.

I jam the keys into the ignition, pulling out of the parking lot as fast as I can.

The ride home is spent looking out the window, paranoid I'll see any of the others. The Volturi.

I recognize her, from a painting that was in Carlisle's study before they left, dated at hundreds of years ago. She is in the background, just slightly to the left of Carlisle, but was clearly from the Volturi, and not an ordinary outsider like Carlisle was.

In the forefront of the picture, I vaguely remember three figures, dressed in fine clothing of the century; two with black hair, and one with blond.

Their gazes pierced into you, even just from viewing a painting.

 _If she was here, would there be more?_

I shook my head as I pulled into the driveway, Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway.

 _He's not supposed to be back yet._

I open the door to the house, peeking inside, "Dad?"

There's no answer, and I shrug my coat off hanging it on the rack, right next to his police jacket.

"Are you there?"

The silence is deafening, and I am terrified in an odd sense. He isn't as young as he used to be.

I pull my phone out to check the time and see that it's now 11:33 at night; he'd originally left for work hours ago.

I walk to the kitchen with our groceries, calling his name out again, but what I see as I turn the corner makes me choke on the word, forming a strangled sob.

Charlie's body, mangled and twisted in impossible ways, blood soaking the white linoleum tiles. His tendons, ripped from their rightful spots, exposing his crushed joints. Shards and dust from his crushed legs litter the blood soaked floor around him.

My world comes crashing down around me, my every being ripped out of my body and laid across the ground to be steamrolled.

Drawn on the floor in Charlie's blood, is a single word.

 **You**

Crashing to the floor, dialing 911 on my cellphone, I let out another sob, and then a scream, pressing the phone to my face.

 _"911, what is the address of your emergency?"_

Life with Charlie was simple, but this.

This was not simple.

 _Time passes, even when the strings attaching you to this Earth are gone._

 _Oh, pass it does._

* * *

 **;0; Please leave your thoughts in the reviews, I'm really nervous coming back to writing this story after all this time.**

 **Thanks for reading ;u; more to come soon.**


	3. Prelude to the New (Short Chapter)

Victoria. It had always been Victoria I had had to fear.

Long after the police had left, and I had been cleared to reenter the house, I'd found a small red piece of paper under my pillow, that had nothing but her name on it, in perfect, elegant cursive.

I had noted blankly, holding onto the small paper, that the situation had always been far worse than I could have imagined.

The horrifying facts were that there was nothing that I could do. There were no precautions I could take. There was no place I could hide. There was no one who could help me.

I realized, taking in a shaky breath, that those facts had always applied to Charlie too. My father, who had always slept one room away from me, had been just a hairsbreadth off of the heart of the target that was centered on me. My scent had lead them here, even while I was away.

And it had killed him.

I had to face the ever terrifying facts, that my _good_ vampires were never going to come back, so how comforting it was to imagine that impossibly, the other kind would disappear too.

The haze of hydros washing over me for the umpteenth time that day, I squeezed my eyes tight, and curled into a small ball on my bed. I was almost eager for my nightmares to start, as they were far better than the beautiful, marble face that smiled behind my eyelids.

In my imagination, Victoria's eyes were black with thirst, bright with anticipation, and her lips curled back from her gleaming, sharp teeth in pleasure. Her red hair, was like a brilliantly terrifying fire; it blew around her wild face in chaotic sweeps.

My thoughts repeated in my head, in a perfect rhythm.

 _Nothing I can do. No precautions I can take. Nowhere I can go. No one who can help me._

My dreams that night were filled with taunting creatures, and the overtone of doom my life had taken on.


	4. Waking Up

Every day that I woke up, unharmed, I was surprised to be alive.

With my father gone, weeks later, why shouldn't she show up to finish me off? Why shouldn't she show up to put me out of my misery, once and for all, in one giant swipe?

I stared at myself in Charlie's mirror, sitting atop his bed, knees tucked to my chest. My eyes were sunken from nightmares of a crazed, red haired goddess, showing up to wreak havoc on me. My hair was tangled, but not overly so, just as if I had spent the past few days in bed, rather than the past few weeks.

Ever since his death, I had taken to sleeping in his room, or at least trying to sleep in his room. Trying to find the comfort in what felt like a stranded, lonely life.

Slipping off the bed, I stretched my joints, before shuffling to the door with my socked feet. I padded down the stairs, before turning into the kitchen, the one Charlie had just been strewn dead across weeks ago.

As I open the fridge, a high pitched, bell-like voice startles me, "Hello Miss Swan!"

I scream, spinning on my heels, and instead of a vicious, meal-ready Victoria, I find the petite, doll-like blonde girl from the grocery store, sitting at my kitchen table in perfect posture. Her hair is up in an immaculate ballerina bun, and she dons beautiful velvet robes. She sits with her hands folded in her lap, trying to seem as non-threatening as she could, probably to make me feel more at ease. _Jane?_

"Why are you in my house?" I yelled, even though fighting or any attempt to scare her was futile. She could kill me in a single blow, not even breaking so much as a sweat.

Her brow furrows, seemingly confused at my anger, "Master Aro sent me, he knows that you're in danger, and as he found after meeting Jasper Cullen, you have an incredible gift," her nose turns up, "I can't get through to you either."

"Get through to me? And what? Are you here to protect me?"

She laughs an angelic sounding laugh, "I'm here to take you with me, back to Volterra, where you will reside within the walls until you are changed to protect you," she looks upon me solemnly then, "you have no other choice, we already know that you know of our kind, and you aren't safe here with Red running around."

Red? _Oh._ Victoria

She stands and walks to me, and I'm frozen under her gaze, almost petrified to make a wrong move.

She takes my warm hands into her cold ones, and speaks, "you'll come, won't you? My only other alternative is to kill you, but they want you alive, and we are here to protect you. You'll be so powerful," she's almost pleading now, and I squeeze her hand to stop her.

My recently acquired mantra played in my head again, rhythm unchanged.

 _Nothing I can do. No precautions I can take. Nowhere I can go. No one who can help me._

But now someone can.

I look back up to her pleading, expectant eyes, and they almost pierced themselves into me, or parts of my soul itself, as she waits for the gears to finish turning in my head.

 _If I say no,_ I thought tentatively, making sure I wasn't messing up any facts _, her only other option is to kill me now, and get it over with before Victoria does so that they know I'm not left alive as a loose end._ A possibility, but one that seemed rather unappealing with a life of immortality, that could be spent forever trying to track down the Cullens.

The hole in my chest throbbed at the edges, almost searing like a knife, as I finally nodded my head at Jane.

"Yes, I'll go," my voice sounded uncertain, and lilted at the ends as the gravity of my words fell onto me.

She broke into a smile, "I want you to pack your things - we'll fly private - I'm so glad you're coming - I'm Jane if you don't remember - you're going to be so happy." Her words blurred as she got excited, and I missed almost everything in between, but I felt myself smile for the first time in weeks as I met the only pure person in my life so far. Pure - not in the sense that she had never done anything bad, or hurt someone, but pure - as in the first bit of light in my world after a long, dark winter. She gave me hope for the trip ahead, through I terror I felt sinking in that it meant being in the castle in the painting - a castle full of Vampires.

"Jane," I stopped her, and she stood inhumanly still, perfectly at attention, "I don't have much to pack, but I want to go through some things and bring them, because they're special. The house is mine permanently now," I winced, as it felt so wrong to call it mine, rather than Charlie's house, my dad's house, "so I can come back here sometimes I assume, for some of my other things if I need them?"

She nods, dropping my hands, and motions for me to grab what I need.

After walking upstairs, I find Charlie's Duffel just inside his room, and stash the small, cherry-wood jewelry case he used to stash pictures of him, my mother, and me in the bottom of the bag. Looking around his room, for anything I might want in the future because of the memories attached, I grab his black police jacket, still in as perfect condition as it was the day he got it, and the large, leather-bound journal he wrote inside, placing them neatly in his bag.

From my room, I pile my small amount of clothes into the bag, folding and rolling every item neatly, so as not to take up more room than was necessary. If I was to try to pack my life into such a small space, I'd have to become efficient.

I began to wonder, sonderly, about the life the Volturi actually lived. From Jane's bright, blood-red eyes, I knew that they lived off of human blood - something that was already dramatically different about them from my beloved Cullens. Before packing my neatly labeled hydros bottles, I wondered quiet if we would go through security, images dancing in my head of a vampire being pulled aside with her human, asked why her bag contained _illegal narcotics._ As I felt my head pounding, tinged with withdrawal from not popping one since last night, I decided to risk it.

 _They're probably rich and in some stupid airplane club,_ one side of my mind argued, _they could pay off any charges and even keep the bottles while they're at it._

Taking four out of the bottle, and washing them down with water, I stashed the rest of them in the bag - a record of fifteen bottles of one hundred, and one more that now instead had ninety-six.

"Jane?" I mumbled, breathlessly after finishing my packing.

"Yes? Oh! I never got your name!" She seems flustered, like she would blush if her marlbe skin had the blood underneath it to do so, and I smile, seeing such a human emotion in someone who so obviously was not. Behind her red eyes danced flames of actual embarrassment.

"Bella," I said, feeling the word out for no reason, "will we be going through security?" I asked half anxiously.

"No! Bring whatever you feel necessary," she added a wink at the end.

"I'm done here then," I said, looking back at my childhood bedroom. I knew that under the sheet in my closet, still laid my unfinished, and all-wrong paintings of the Cullens from months ago, but I knew I couldn't bare to uncover them to consider bringing them with me.

"I'm outside in a black G-Wagon," she said, scooping my very few bags into her arms, the largest one looking almost comical in comparison to her small stature.

And with that, at an inhuman pace, she was gone.

I looked back at the room again, wondering what possibly could still be compelling me to stay, to look around a place that was still filled with so much pain.

Walking to my window, I stared out at our front yard, and the beautiful looking luxury car parked out front, with its' tiny, perfect looking driver in the front seat.

Jane. All I'd been told about her, was that she could inflict pain upon people, just by looking at them.

The childlike, polite, bubbly little girl that stood before me in my kitchen earlier had seemed nothing like the type of person that would possess such a gift.

Running my hand across the ledge, rolling my keys in my other, I decided that it was time the go finally, and start the new, albeit life-or-death-forced chapter of my life.

* * *

 **I already have next chapter partially finished, and it's a _long_ one. Expect it sometime tonight in the next few hours.**

 **I'm finally off the course that New Moon was on, and can begin fully putting my ideas into this story.**

 **Thanks for reading thus far! I know it's now a very different story already.**

 **;0; ~Sheba**


	5. Welcomed

Soft, classical music filled the car as Jane drove. We had finished our lengthy plane ride, and were now just in the streets of Rome, where she said we had _'a short ride through the countryside before we approached Volterra.'_ I had nodded slowly, not wanting to ask how long 'a short ride' was in her terms.

"So," I started, awkwardly trying to find a topic to fill the quiet air, "what is your life like here?"

She hummed, before starting off by saying, "It's a much quieter life than you might expect," the hum of the car engine was just barely quieter than her voice as she spoke, "we're not at all the monsters you were led to believe."

I shifted in my seat, knowing she probably knew what I had been told from Aro, or however she had said his name when we were back at the house, "I'm here, so I can't think too terribly of you, I came after all, instead of.." I stuttered out, earning a small smile from her.

"We're all humans who were saved from a 'less-than-ideal' fate," she looked off into the road ahead of her, as we just had entered the countryside, seeming lost in thought.

As I tapped my fingers against the plush interior of the car, anxiously awating her to continue, she took a shaky, unneeded breath before continuing, "My twin brother and I were almost to be burned at the stake for witchcraft, when we were just twelve years old."

I stared in awe at the ancient, yet childish looking girl in front of me, reeling from the idea of a village deciding in unison to kill such a small child, "they had taken us from our home in the middle of the night, and as the first flames begin to lick at our clothing, we were saved by Master Aro, and our village had been massacred, including our parents."

"Why?" I choked out, wondering what the tiny girl in front of be could have even done to be seen as a _witch._

"Our gifts manifested as children, and people begin noticing that whenever someone tried to hurt us, or was bad towards our family, something bad would soon happen to them. We didn't know we were projecting our gifts onto them, but they all noticed and they knew they had to get rid of us," she turns, with a pained smile in my direction, "so what better way than to kill us?"

"So you were changed after the fire?"

"We were too far scarred and injured to be kept alive reliably as humans during that time period - with no modern medicine, we would have perished from our burns - they weren't even sure we'd be alive long enough to change us," she puts the car into cruise, and grabs my hand to press my it down and run my fingers along her thin, pale arms.

As my fingers move across her skin, I realize she's having me feel the just barely raised, almost perfectly healed burns from the fire, just slightly whiter than the rest of her skin but almost impossible to see.

"Jane," I say in a broken whisper, as she pulls back down the sleeve of her immaculately detailed black blouse, and presses her golden V pendant against her chest once against, straightening it just over the fabric. She flicks a strand of hair back into place, as if she's trying to shrug it off and avoid the pity.

"I had a second chance, and after hearing of you, they had originally just wanted to kill you, as when I was first sent you seemed helpless from the visions I showed Aro of you," she shifts the gears of the car again, making a turn into a deep forest, "I wanted you to have one too."

I leaned back into the passenger seat of the car as I stared at Jane, who had her delicate face turned from me to watch the road, mulling over the emotions that being cared for brought up, putting them into a light that made sense to me.

 _Cared for?_

"Me?"

"It's only fair," she said softly, following the road as it weaved through the lush Italian forest.

I'm not sure how long after our conversation we had spent in silence, but some time and a distance later, after listening to the steady wind in the trees above us and the purr of the quiet engine of the car, I fell asleep.

My dreams in the car were filled fairy-tail creatures; the white rabbit, taunting me that I was running out of time, never seeming to be able to catch up, running through the woods, terrified but not quite sure of what, and that seeming all the more dooming.

 _"You're running out of time. You're running out of time. All you have is lost and it's all your fault, every last bit of it. You cannot kill me in a way that matters."_

 _"We're all mad here."_

I stood, surrounded by a chaos, all of it looming on me, just barely able to reach, I've almost reached it -

* * *

I awake with a start as Jane taps my arm.

"We're almost there!" She announces cheerfully, a smile on her face as she motions out the window.

The sun is just beginning to rise over the Italian countryside, and the rolling hills slowly turn into flat ground, on top of which in the distance lay the city's terracotta walls, looking brilliant in the shadows cast by the first light.

"This is beautiful," I said, awe clear in my voice.

"This is home," Jane said, voice full of a strange yet positive conviction.

I wasn't sure if I believed her statement yet, but it settled some of the nerves I felt, flaring up in the background of my mind.

"I can't wait for you to meet the family," she said softly, as we now entered the streets of Volterra. She entered a fully empty parking garage, and then turned into what appeared to be a long, dark tunnel road, lit by small lamps in the ceiling every few feet.

The sound of the car echoed off of the walls of the tunnel, sending a chill down my spine from the eerie feeling it gave off.

At the end of the tunnel was another parking garage, but this one was full of beautiful black cars, ranging from Mercedes, to Volvo, to older styled cars from companies I could never guess the names of. Jane pulls into the only empty spot, just near a small, black door.

As we exit the car, the door opens and a woman with olive skin, long brown hair, and eyes just as red as Jane's are walks into the room.

"Heidi," Jane croons, wrapping her arms around the new, unknown vampire.

"Jane," Heidi says back, just as affectionately.

As they pull away, Jane passes the keys off to Heidi and bobs her head, saying, "You take Miss Bella's stuff somewhere for now? I don't know where they want to room her but I was instructed to take her directly to the library to meet them." Jane then looks to me, taking my hand, "Aro. Caius. Marcus. They will introduce themselves, but those are their names. They are our _Masters_ but that's mostly a ploy for outsiders.

I nodded, grinning because I was bemused that these fairy tail creatures from another time period kept up a public image, almost like a play where they all had a part. An image of Jane picking her outfit out to go on _official business_ flashed in my head, and I had to keep from giggling.

"Let's go Bella!" Jane says, taking my hand. We walked to the end of the hallway just through the same black door Heidi had been through, passing door after door, until we reached an elevator. Jane let go of my hand to press the button, a red light coming on, telling us our elevator would arrive soon.

With a _ding,_ the doors opened, and we stepped inside.

The elevator itself was fancy, and larger than I had expected; with a beautiful, red velvet carpet and gorgeous mirror walls lined with gold and shimmering diamonds. Above our head was a gold and crystal chandelier, sparkling in the light it gave off.

Jane punched in a number, and soon enough the doors were opening again to reveal yet another hallway, with it's stone walls, pillars that held more lights that were clasped in gold, and the seemingly signature red carpet.

"We just have to pass a few more doors, and then we'll be in the library - they wanted to talk to you, get to know you, they had said."

I nodded thoughtfully as we walked down the corridor.

What could they possibly want to know about me?

I wasn't exactly an interesting person. My favourite colour nowadays was green. I only had one living parent. My favourite book was Pride and Prejudice. My favourite composer was Debus-

I winced.

I had only ever picked up Debussy after I had met Edward. Beforehand, I had never even heard of his name before.

Debussy was _Edward's_ favourite composer.

I had just picked that up.

I looked down at my hands, now shaking as I wondered what they'd ask, or if they'd even want to keep me here.

"How do you fare?" I hear from my left.

I look up to meet Jane's worried eyes.

"I'll be fine," I smile, unconvincingly, and follow her lead to a door.

I look back down the hall and count.

 _Fifth door on the left side._ I wasn't sure why I kept the mental note, in such a large and already confusing castle, but it seemed to be of importance to me, somehow.

With a gentle shove, Jane opens the door that was easily three times the size of her, and walks inside, gesturing for me to walk in behind her.

The library is _huge,_ with a high ceiling, walls lined with shelves of ancient yet well in condition books. Below my feet is a plush green carpet, and all of the small tables and chairs are a beautiful mahogany. In the corner situated two men, one with long, straight, platinum blond hair, and one with pin straight jet black hair sit on a couch, clearly in a conversation but too low for my ears to hear. They look up to us, and the black haired man breaks into a smile.

"Jane! You've returned - and you've brought Bella too!" He makes his way over to us, before taking Jane's hand, entering a blank state for a half second, before smiling again, more warmly this time, "I see things went well, and _interesting,_ " his eyes touched upon my face once, before returning to hers, expectant and staring up at him, " _your gift does not affect Miss Swan either._ "

He reaches for my hand, and I keep it firmly at my side, my gaze unmoving from his face.

"Bella, my name is Aro, if you don't mind, I have the ability to read minds, but I must be touching the person, may I try?"

"A tactile mind reader?" I mumbled out. He nodded, excitement in his deep red eyes, and I mulled over it for a moment, before meeting his hand with mine.

His face, full of anticipation, fell the moment he my warm skin met his cold, turning to bewilderment, to confusion, to exasperation.

"That's... strange," he mumbled out. His eyes dazed off for a second, before he covered my hand in his with his other hand, stroking it, "You've blocked everyone's gifts thus far," he said, cocking his head to the side in a fluid motion, "maybe it'll protect you from my constant prying."

He held onto my hand for a moment more, his expression changing as if he was _concentrating, hoping_ that he would hear something from my mind. He looked back up at me, smiling again, before joking, "although, maybe it won't."

He led us over to the couches and tables, where the blond I had all but forgotten about sat in his chair, tapping his foot impatiently with his face full of exasperation, as if we'd interrupted an important conversation.

I sat opposite of him, on the beautiful matching red couch in front of the coffee table between us.

He is slender, but not nearly as slender as Aro. Unlike Aro, who is wearing a formfitting, casual looking suit, the harsh-looking man in front of me is dressed in black and red robes, gold chains hanging lightly off of the clasp in the front just below his neck, hood down to reveal his silky, blond hair.

"Caius." He says curtly. His eyebrows seem etched in frustration.

"Bella," I try to say warmly, but it sounds a little forced.

Jane sits down in a chair at the end of the coffee table, crossing her legs delicately over each other before folding herself into the chair, swinging her legs up over the arm to lay awkwardly.

Aro sits about a foot away next to me, crossing his legs towards me, so he has me in plain view.

My mind notes blankly, that they seem to be moving carefully, and painfully slow for someone of their species, possibly so as to not scare me.

"So, Bella, you knew the Cullen Coven?" I winced slightly, and Aro seemed to notice this.

"I, yes, uh," I stumbled over my words, "they left Forks a long time back now, and made it clear they wouldn't be back."

Aro's brow furrowed slightly, "and left you unprotected when Victoria Sutherland is out for revenge?"

I choked slightly, looking to Jane. Her eyes were encouraging and warm.

I caught my breath and looked back to Aro.

"She came to my house when I wasn't there at night, I was out late grocery shopping, and my father had come home from work early for some reason I never got to know," I shuddered slightly, remembering the scene just weeks ago, tears pricking in my eyes, "She, she killed my father - absolutely crushed him in her grip," the next part came out in a wail, _"she was supposed to just kill me!"_

Aro puts his hand over mine on the couch, a look of helplessness washes over him as he watches me regain my composure.

Jane says quietly, "I knew she had gotten to the house - I was terrified - I got there late, after it had happened. She was gone before I even got there, her scent already washed away by the rain."

I look up to Jane, "that was when I saw you in the supermarket."

She nodded, "I tracked you there, because we knew she was searching for you. Soon after I realized I had left one hole open - your father."

I looked into her eyes, seeing them pleading forgiveness essentially.

"It's not your fault," I started. Her shoulders seemed to relax, exponentially, "Victoria was going to come for me regardless, Charlie was on that target too just by being in the same house."

Aro rubbed smooth, circle motions into my hand, and I focused on them to get my breathing into check so we could continue.

I hoped the other questions would be easier.

"Where did Marcus run off to?" Caius asked, looking towards the door.

"He had said something about feeding, and buying a few more things for Miss Swan's wing," Aro replied, eyes trained on his blond brother.

"You really don't have to do a l-" I began, but Aro cut me off;

"Nonsense! You are family now, and family deserves the best,"

Caius scoffed at the cheesy remark, but I felt my heart warm for the first time in months hearing such simple words.

"Which, by the way," Aro laid his finger down on a map, with various rooms and halls in different colours I could barely understand, down on the words _royal wings_ which was a large area split into four, "Caius, Marcus, and myself each have our own wing in in the royal quarters, and because it would be safest for you, we would like to permanently give you the fourth wing on the floor." He looked at me expectantly, a smile ghosting upon his lips.

"That's-that's really fantastic Aro, thank you so much," I tried to fester up as much gratitude as I could, but it sounded flat to my ears. He seemed beyond happy regardless, and took my hands into his own cold ones.

"I'm sure you'll love it, let us show you your way there now," Aro said excitedly. I smiled, watching this old vampire become happy at something so mundane.

This choice, the one to live, out of Jane's choices offered up to me in my little kitchen just days ago, seemed like it was making itself out to be better out of the two, exactly like I hadn't expected when picking it.

I still wasn't exactly happy. My world seemed downright ruined at this point, despite all the good that seemed to be thrown at me out of nowhere after the long, harsh time I'd had. But somewhere I had hope that it might get better.

Time passes.

Even for me.

Now it was time to see where I'd be living my existence out.


	6. Villages of the Star People

**This is mostly an introspective chapter for Bella, and more of Jane who will _always_ be my favourite of the Volturi guard.**

 **The theme of this story is recovery and getting better after trauma for the first while, so Bella won't be taking pills for long at all (I feel like this bothers some people, even though I haven't set it at the forefront like I was originally planning to, so I just wanted to say something to ease the possibly imaginary tension I feel ;0;)**

* * *

I dropped my bag down on my new bed, eyeing the rest of the room.

It was spacious, by far larger than the house I had shared with Charlie up until recently in my life. The ceiling was high, although nowhere near as high as the beautiful library I had come from. The walls were a deep, forest green, with a very subtle raised pattern running along them. In the corners of the far wall, there were high wooden bookshelves that were built into the walls, much like at the library, that were still empty upon arrival.

 _Empty,_ I had thought in disappointment, _I will have to buy some if I ever see the city on foot._

Between them, with couches and chairs trained toward it as some sort of living space, was a fireplace, currently unlit, and a neat stack of wood beside it.

"Will you be needing any help?" A meek voice asked from behind me.

I turned to see Jane leaning awkwardly against the door-frame. Over her shoulder I could see Aro dusting absentmindedly, picking up books and knick knacks, moving the duster to clean the invisible dust.

"I'm just going to put my stuff away, but you're welcome to stay, and talk?" I mumbled the last part out like a question almost, but she nodded eagerly, and gracefully dropped herself onto my bed.

"I have yet to see my brother since we got back," Jane mused, staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"Do you all leave often?" I asked, shoving clothes into a drawer. If only I knew a place to put the pills away, out of sight...

Jane broke my train of thought, "sometimes we do, but not too often if it isn't on official business. We shop, occasionally, and sometimes a few of us will go a few cities over, to hunt," she moved a hand up to rub her jaw, although I knew the gesture wasn't needed, "Aro never said he went out."

"He did, Jane dear," Aro's melodic voice called from the adjacent room, "there was an issue in France, but they are all on their way back. Don't fret."

I walked over to the closet, a beautiful walk in one I would probably never fill, and placed my duffel back down inside, pills rattling slightly.

 _Right back to old habits, hiding your pills in a closet,_ my mind taunted at me. I shook my head as I closed the door behind me.

In the center of the room, which was still an almost empty space despite all the furniture already inside, there sat a lone, ivory piano with gold woven in spirals around it's legs. I closed the lid over the keys, and latched the lock over the ends, knowing for certain I would probably not ever be playing it, so as not to think too much of _him._

Jane was looking at me curiously from her spot on the bed, and I realized that my breath had hitched it my throat. Her brow was etched in worry as she scrutinized me.

"Okay?" She said the word like a question, and I worked to smooth my breathing back out. As I began to breath again her face relaxed, and she nodded at me almost encouragingly. Giving a meek smile towards her, I sat down at the piano, resting my head in my hands.

Under my eyelids danced all the worries I had for my time being in the castle.

Within my first few hours, I knew that trying to learn the layout of the castle was fruitless. With so many hallways, and so many different wings on different floors, I had mostly given up on the idea and accepted that I would need someone to help me out a bit.

My other, possibly more pressing worry, was their diet.

Everyone that I had met within the castle walls, barring the very few human staff, shared the same, unmistakable ruby red eyes. I had not been indifferent to the comment earlier on about Marcus being out feeding, but it wasn't like I could protest the idea of them feeding off of humans - they were vampires after all, and I had known what I was getting myself into when I told Jane I'd live it out for a bit.

I longed, in an odd sense, to instead be where Carlisle was. Not even particular for Edward, but because if I was doomed to live out my human life with vampires, it seemed better to be with _my_ vampires.

I wondered briefly, if that would even be an option if I ever saw them again, but resigned myself mostly against the idea. Originally, I had come out here with the intention to search for them after I was changed, but I was no longer sure if I ever wanted to be reunited with them again.

Alice's soft, pixie-like face danced behind my eyelids, and recognition flared inside me as I realized why I had taken so easily to Jane - they were strikingly similar, even in appearance. Jane seemed like a young, blonde Alice, although I knew Jane was far older than Alice was by a long shot.

"Jane?"

"Mm?"

"How old _are_ you?"

There was a pause before she spoke again.

"I was born year eight hundred and fourteen, so that would make both Alec and I twelve hundred and four?" The end came out like a question.

I lifted my head to look at her, and she was sitting up too, staring back with her crimson eyes.

"Do you not know exactly?"

"Calendars weren't exactly a thing back then, and we were a village that had only been around for a few hundred star cycles, and we didn't follow the same time as the rest of the world. We don't even know what month we were born in, or even what sign we were," she looked distraught, and I wondered what she meant by 'star cycles,' perplexed at what kind of village she had grown up in.

 _"Star cycles?"_

She blinked, seeming confused at first that I didn't understand, before her face lit up _._

"My people believed that we were all the descendants of stars, and instead of birthdays, you celebrated at a giant feast held for your zodiac sign. We believed that the stars were all gods, that they would protect us, keep us warm, bring us good crops, and that they decided all," she looked wistful, far away, "I always wondered what it would be like to walk off into the stars, to have them all wave to me as I leave off on a journey through the cosmos,"

"What sign were you?" I asked - surely, her answer could solve her age for her.

"I don't remember, and neither does Alec. Sometimes, we like to say we were probably Gemini. It would be so fitting - twins born under the sign of the twins."

I began to compare her again, to Alice. Neither of them could remember the important bits of their lives enough to piece it together. I wondered, briefly, if in another life they would have gotten along as family, as their personalities were so similar in their ba-

Jane interrupted my thoughts again, by coming into view and pressing a smooth, cool object into my palm. I looked down and inspected the object, perplexed, before realizing it was a rock that had been chiseled into the shape of a star and put on a necklace. On the front of the star, her name was engraved in small, neat letters.

 _jane_

"Alec has one just like this with his name, they were made for us by an elder lady in the village. I remember that I loved her dearly, like family almost, but I can't remember her name either," she looked sad, distant, "I remember that we were sacred to our village; they believed that twins were a gift from the stars, but that wasn't enough to save us when we were accused of witchcraft from our projecting gifts. The Gods in the stars condemned witchcraft and all sorts of magic, according to our legends. _I wish I could have gotten to read them after I was turned but..._ "

"They were written down?" I asked her, and she smiled down at me sadly.

"They were, but Aro and Caius destroyed the village when they turned us, as they'd been seen by the humans there - they bit us to turn us in front of them. They burned it all down. Alec and I went back not long after to find what survived, and only stones and metals remained."

I looked off at the windows, seeing that the sun would be going down soon, imagining this strange, fairy tail sounding village that worshiped the stars.

"Alec and I visited the neighboring village a few times, and we had met our extended family there. They spoke the same language as we had in our lives, but it was slightly different, a different dialect. They obviously knew we were-" she trailed off, trying to find the right word, testing them in her head, "-something else, but they didn't ask questions at all, and assumed that since we had survived the destruction of the village, we must be blessed like they assumed so, with special powers. This village was much more accepting of gifts, encouraged them even - that's why my mother's sister ran away to it, to be with my Uncle somewhere she would be accepted."

She looked off into the window too now, watching it turn to a soft orange as she talked. I shivered slightly, as I thought of the fires destroying her home.

"We met our aunts, uncles, and our cousins, they told us amazing stories. We tried to soak up as much of the lore that they knew as we could, but we knew it was flawed, somehow. They didn't have the sacred books that our village had kept," I heard her stop breathing before she spoke again, "They died off ten years after the last village did, and the people no longer had that same spark that they did when we had first contacted them. _They no longer believed._ They had gone through two harvests with almost nothing, and people starved to death. The older ones were still holding on, believing that the stars would save them, do what's best for them. We had visited again far too late, and left before making ourselves known. We couldn't do it." She spat the last bit out, venom in her voice.

A throat was cleared behind her, and we turned, me horribly slowly compared to her, to see a thin, blonde boy, just as doll-like as Jane, standing in the doorway.

"But," he began, picking up the story where she left off, "we wrote down the versions that our aunt and uncle had told us, and they had to have been close, even if we can't remember anything. And we have everything from the neighboring village that was left after they passed on."

He then nodded his head to me to acknowledge me, "Bella, Jane, I was told to come get you two. We are going to be going to the throne room, where they've arranged for everyone to be so Aro can introduce you. Would you be ready now?"

I nodded my head at Alec, wordlessly taking his hand to shake it before we left.


End file.
